Starting A Blog

Well, the day has finally come. While I am be a bit nervous, it’s also inevitable. In middle school, I wanted to be a writer. In high school, I started my first blog that I never stuck with. In college, I studied writing. So today has been coming for a while now.

I have no idea where this blog will lead me. All I know is that one of my 2019 goals is to blog at least once a week. I even created a tracker in my planner, which for me means it’s going to happen. I take my planner a little too seriously. While I have this goal - this blog - in front of me, I don’t have a firm “direction.” All I want to do is write.

I find clarity is writing down my thoughts. Writing has always been my way of being able to really understand what I am going through. Whether it be good or bad. I don’t know how to explain how I dissect new information or ideas to others. It’s why my husband and friends love when I tell stories (my husband compares me to an excited 8 year old). It’s why a lot of my college professors always got on me about not participating in class when my papers were so well thought out. It’s probably part of the reason I hate confrontation. It has always been easier to explain in written words than spoken ones.

So this post. This first post is setting me up to be able to express my deep feelings that I can’t vocalize in my day to day life. Like how being a mom is pretty easy and natural until it randomly isn’t in the middle of an afternoon. Or how lonely I realize I am if I sit alone for just a minute too long while feeding our daughter. Or how I miss school even though I’m grateful to be done. Or a bunch of other things that I’d only realize in the moments of feeling whatever they are.

Like I said before, I don’t know what this blog will turn into or where it will take me. I hope, over time, this solidifies into a more focused topic. For now, it might be a little bit of anything I want it to be about.

This isn’t going to be a parenting blog. This isn’t going to be a lifestyle blog. This isn’t going to be a finance blog. This isn’t going to be a food blog. Even though I will touch on all these topics at different times. This blog will be whatever I want it to be the day I post something.

However, I know it’s important. I know writing makes me feel better. I desperately know that I want to be better both mentally and intellectually. So this my me doing what I need to do to get there. I also hope that someone else in the world reads this and knows that they aren’t the only one that feels this way too. I know I need this. Maybe you do as well.

I’m sure the next few posts will explain who I am, who are as a couple, who our family is. I know we will have more posts about what we see for ourselves in the now and future. (I’m a bit of a goal oriented planner). I might explain what my specific 2019 goals are - I have several.

At the end of the day, this post. This post. It allows me to finally have an outlet again. And I’m looking forward to seeing where it takes me.