Read Now Not In Retirement

Our family recently took a vacation to Tennessee. And while we were there, we stopped at a McKays Books (because TikTok told us we should). While walking into the store, an older woman was pushing a laundry basket (a hotel sized laundry basket) full of book into the store. We knew that this was a giant store of used books but that was very unexpected for us. We were instantly excited knowing that this was going to be a fun store to spend a bit of time in.

The store was overwhelming because it was so big. Overwhelming in a good way, but still overwhelming. Adam and I figured it would be best to split up. I took one kid, while he took the other. We would trade when necessary.

#2 and I were looking at cookbooks when I overheard an older woman talking to a small child. I wasn’t meaning to ease drop. But it’s inevitable sometimes, and I am beyond thankful that I did.

The woman was cooing over and toddler while the child’s mom was looking at books. The mom was smiling and thanking the woman for complimenting the child. The older woman then admitted that she wasn’t sure why she was shopping. I was rounding the corner into the same aisle they were in as she said “I just turned in a cart load of books, yet here I am getting more.” I glanced up and realized it was the woman that we had walked in next too.

The young mom made a comment about how she had been in earlier this week, so she couldn’t judge. Then the older woman said something that I cannot stop thinking about. She said

I always collected books with the intent of reading them in retirement. Now, I just see all the books I don’t have time for. So I went through them and got rid of the ones that didn’t interest me a much.

I honestly didn’t think anything of this overheard conversation until Adam and I were backing out of our parking spot. We were talking about our assumed best strategies for how to actually look at everything they had to offer and just our general thoughts on the store.

When I said the quote above, I stopped after. My lighthearted mood felt wrong. It wasn’t a funny statement; it wasn’t a lighthearted comment made by an assumed recently-retired teacher. It was a heartbreaking confession.

She loved books. She loved storytelling. She just felt like she didn’t have the time to read. I obviously don’t know this woman’s life. I assume she was a teacher based other tidbits I omitted. But she probably had life things getting in the way of what she wanted to do. Or at the very least, she thought life was stopping her.

I am so guilty of this. I have considered myself a reader since middle school. My peak was high school. In college, I only read what was assigned (I was an English major — I was assigned A LOT). But being told what to read for 4 years made me not want to read. I still considered myself a reader; I still bought books. I just wasn’t reading. I would go through one or two times a year where i would say I would start reading but I would only get a few chapters in before I stopped. I just couldn’t get into it.

But then this random woman happened to be at a bookstore at the same time that I was there. I happened to be within earshot at her random conversation. And now I can’t stop thinking about it. Reading — or any hobby — is meant to be experienced now. Not in the future.

Being transparent, I haven’t increased my reading. I read for a week then I don’t read for another two. But I am reading more. I don’t want to be later in life and regret not enjoying the life and hobbies that I want to do. I want to read. I want to write. I want to play board games. I want to go on adventures with my kids.

I learned a lot from eavesdropping on a two minute conversation between two strangers. Maybe you can learn something from it too. i would love to know what hobbies that you want to start (or restart)? Let me know in the comments!